Why Studying Is Better Than Sex?

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.

3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

success is...

At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
   At age 12, success is...having friends.
     At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
       At age 20, success is...having sex.
        At age 35, success is...having money.
        At age 50, success is...having money.
       At age 60, success is...having sex.
     At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
   At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.

I have always wanted to do a republican