So, is it just me, or is Jessica Alba the most hideous looking creature on the planet? I mean, she's so damn ugly.

Do you see this?

NO GOOD.

Clearly not the type of girl you want to take home to your parents....It feels like only yesterday that I brought home Jessica Alba to my meet my folks...I was so embarassed because it was my first time attempting to date "an ugly". I didnt know what my parents would think.....I just assumed disownership would ensue.

Ok, I'm throwing a steaming pile of BS your way. Jessica Alba is Hot. Everyone here knows they shamefully watched "Into The Blue" to study how wonderfully her curves meshed with Paul Walker's horrendous acting.

Let's move on...I decided for our next lesson we could take an ordinary press photo (left) of Alba and take it to the next level. I couldnt decide exactly what that level would be...but I knew Victoria's Secret and Angel Wings would be involved. That being said, Let's get started!

Here's what you'll need in your toolbox ( download toolbox ) :

and:

This image came up on like page 4,523 of a google image search. It looked Bland, so I decided to start off by Adjusting the colors and tones.

Next, I added some more red tones to get a more rich coat to the photo. Then, I clipped the wings from Exhibit B above, and placed them behind her at slightly varying angles.

Those wings look a little flat, so lets add some depth by applying shadows at the body edges. We're getting there...Next I added more of that red tone to the wings so that they mesh more with the environment.

Finally, I selected the entire outline of the body and wings and filled that selection on a new layer with gray. After filling your selection, blur it and select "multiply" from the layer blending modes.....you should have a nice shadow behind your Alba. BOOYAH!

Next, lets add a bit of magic to the scene....Go into IMAGE > ADJUST > COLOR BALANCE and add some blue hues to your midtones and shadows. Your end result should come out around here:

Now lets juice up the hair a little bit....

make a selection around her hairline and copy it onto a new layer....now go to IMAGE > ADJUST > LEVELS and move the far right slider in until you get something like this. This enhances the highlight in her hair. Feel free to go crazy and make the hair longer. My hope was to end with a Sinead O'Connor look, but word on the streets is that women with shaved heads arent sexy. Who knew.

Now lets take this to the next level. Let's make a copy of the entire photo so far and place it on top of our layers as a flattened image. Next lets adjust the variations to a strong blue (below). After that, add a Gaussian Blue...(again, below):

Now take this layer and set the layer blending mode to "soft light". You should get this:

And now...Time for a new outfit!. Take Exhibit C (waist area) and apply it over the jeans. The jeans were no good. Definitely 80's. Lastly, make a copy of that pink string and place it over the belly:

This is Step 9. Step 9 is fun. Take your Exhibit D photo and clip the area above the actual cloth. Some may call it cleavage. We'll call it the area above the bikini cloth. Adjust the colors on this area until it matches Alba's skin tone. feel free to blend the two tones with your smudge or eraser tool. I outlined the clip area below:

Enter Step 10. Cut out the pink bow and move it below the....er, cleavage line. Next, copy a segment from the TOP of her OLD shirt and apply it along the ridge on both sides of the.......cleavage. This seems so dirty. ANow, apply any shadowing you may feel necessary to give it that needed depth.