1. Opening a Jar -
You sit there and watch her struggle. She’s stubborn though… she runs it under hot water, taps it on the counter, calls it every name in the book. Then finally, like a beat dog, she lowers her head, slowly walks over to you holding the jar out as if to say, “Please dear God, struggle a little so I don’t feel so bad.” You take a firm grip, twist and pop goes the lid. You hand it back and say with a wink, “You loosened it sweet cheeks!”
2. Having a Scar –
It would be best if you had a long knife cut, or a scar from an old bullet wound. When she sees it for the first time and asks, “awe, honey… ….did that hurt?” “Nah”, Is all we need to say.
3. Tools -
Kinda says it all right there. When the neighbor lady asks if you can fix her shelves cause she doesn’t know how to use the tools. You assess the situation, throw out some technical fixin’ shit terms and strap on the tool belt with suspenders cause the weight of the tools are so heavy. You walk proud with the tools banging against your legs. When all you really needed were three anchors, screws and your 22 volt cordless drill/driver with keyless chuck, 24 position adjustable torgue clutch. But why not have all your tools wrapped around you like batman’s utility belt. Cool…
4. Parallel Parking –
Yes, yes we can. First time, every time. Get out and walk away, without even checking the curb. Yea, cause you know its good.
5. Whiskers –
Nothing says “he’s cool”, like looking like you just don’t give a damn. Girly men, look at you and you can almost see a tear forming in the corner of their eye. Yea, they know they’re whipped. Nancy’s.
6. Winking –
Yea, it’s so cool it turns women into putty, doesn’t it.
7. Duct Tape –
As you walk around your shop. (it’s not a garage for the family mini-van) It’s your shop. Nothing says, “I can fix anything”, like duct tape. Bring it on.
8. Tanks –
We know stuff about them. That alone gives you 16 kick ass cool points.
9. Meat –
Women go to the store. They price the meat. (it can take up to 30 minutes) they pick out a big roast, something that will go good with carrots. Men, we kill our own food. Clean it, cook it… …over an open flame!
10. Support groups –
We don’t need them to help us pee, unlike women.
BONUS REASON - Men can be ready to go anywhere, at anytime in under two minutes.
1 comment:
I Love the Bonus Point :)
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