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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Thursday, August 12, 2010

funny but relatively useless information

funny but relatively useless information
  1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
  2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
  3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
  4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
  5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
  6. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. (except in Salford, Manchester. The University of Salford conducted an experiment proving this much quoted internet fact to be a fallacy. So there you go, never believe anything you read on t'internet http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_info/duck/
  7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2 by 3-1/2.
  8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur", a small red car can be seen in the distance.
  9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
  10. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
  11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
  12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
  13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple, and silver.
  14. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was never a recorded Wendy before.
  15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
  16. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
  17. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
  18. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".
  19. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
  20. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
  21. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
  22. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
  23. By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
  24. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
  25. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
  26. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
  27. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".
  28. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
  29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
  30. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
  31. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. Not to mention the other drawback to passing gas in such a confined space....
  32. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!! (P-factor exists everywhere!)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Opps!!!!!!!

http://waxy.org/random/images/infinite_motivational_poster.gif

The Real Pac Man


Real-Life Pac Man Terrorizes People - Watch more Funny Videos

Monday, August 2, 2010

Sleep Safe tape


 
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Friday, July 30, 2010

50 Questions You Haven't Already Asked Your Date

Fair warning: Consider your audience. You're no doubt too cool to ask a virtual stranger to name a favorite school supply (Question #8), but anyone can talk about a habit that was hard to break (Question #6) if the subject's introduced naturally into the conversation. If you're loathe to spring any of these questions on a date, e-mail them to the contacts in your address book for the latest round of Getting to Know Your Friends.
  1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
  2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
  3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep?
  4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song?
  5. Who's your favorite Muppet?
  6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?
  7. What's your favorite Web site?
  8. What's your favorite school supply?
  9. Who's your favorite TV attorney?
  10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
  11. What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?
  12. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
  13. What's your favorite tree?
  14. What's the most interesting biography you've read?
  15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
  16. What's the best costume you've ever worn?
  17. What's your least favorite word?
  18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
  19. Who's your favorite Care Bear?
  20. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
  21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be?
  22. What did you have for lunch yesterday?
  23. Where do you go for advice?
  24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
  25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving?
  26. Have you ever been stung by a bee?
  27. What's the sickest you've ever been?
  28. What's your favorite form of exercise?
  29. What's your favorite Cyndi Lauper song?
  30. What did you do for your 13th birthday?
  31. Are you afaid of heights?
  32. Have you ever taken dance lessons?
  33. What's your favorite newspaper?
  34. What's your favorite Broadway musical?
  35. What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?
  36. What's your favorite knock-knock joke?
  37. What's your favorite commercial?
  38. If you could go to Disney World with any celebrity alive today, who would it be?
  39. Do you prefer baths or showers?
  40. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
  41. What's your favorite breakfast food?
  42. Who's your favarite game show host?
  43. If you could have a super power, what would it be?
  44. Do you like guacamole?
  45. Have you ever been in a food fight?
  46. Name five songs to which you know all the lyrics. (Better yet, sing them.)
  47. What's your favorite infomercial?
  48. What's the longest you've ever waited in line?
  49. What's on the cover of your address book or day planner?
  50. Have you ever taken a picture in one of those little booths?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Flags and thier Meanings

Friday, July 23, 2010

Knowledge

http://dogmatik.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/knowledge.jpg


Knowledge

Okay, so I am easily amused!!
 
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(Lucky pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death! (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body . The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
 
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too )

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).

What is Hell???

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_PSIB8C7FmPA/TEeQz3a9dHI/AAAAAAAAAEk/jRIsk5BfhKw/s800/29768_540.jpg.png

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Killing English ……

Killing English ……


Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating  near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "
 
 
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

once Hindi teacher said...."I’m going out of the world to America .."

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

don’t..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

teacher in a furious mood...

write down your name and father of your name!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"will u hang that calendar or else I’ll HANG MYSELF"

************ ********* ********* ************ *

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??


************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Friday, July 16, 2010

dangers of alcohol

A chemistry teacher one day decided to teach his class about the dangers of alcohol.



He thought up a neat little experiment, and showed it to his class.

He had two glass tumblers, one filled with clean water, and the other with whiskey. He placed a live worm in each glass. The worm in water was perfectly fine, however the worm which was dropped in whiskey died almost instantly.

Rather pleased with the experiment, he decided to ask the class what they could deduce from it. The class were silent for several seconds, until one boy at the back called out: "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).

 humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).

  1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
  6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
  14. How about never? Is never good for you?
  15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
  17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
  19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
  22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
  23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Price Tag Fails :D

Saturday, June 26, 2010

How to cheat and pass in Exams

http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/042010/small_how%20to%20cheat%20on%20an%20exam.jpg

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Yes they are real !

http://www.hilarious-pictures.com/files/picture/25249654.jpg

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Flying Rain deer

http://www.ezpicshare.com/images/1268503838.gif

Thursday, April 22, 2010

When Comic characters come Alive

I suck at life. I forgot that I said I was going to post a blog with some of the best cosplay I saw at San Diego Comic Con. Better late than never???? So here are some of the best costumes, not all the pictures are mine, as I did not get to use my own camera till the last day of the convention, but it was pretty easy to spot these people each day of the con! There are some really dedicated people out there!!!



















Best Yuna EVER!!!!