Untying The Elephant

I read recently that elephants used in logging work (in some terrain they're apparently the only way of moving heavy logs around) are kept tethered by a single rope around one leg when they're not working. They can move around, but the rope apparently keeps them from wandering away from the camp.

Frankly, it doesn't sound like much of an existence... but the strange thing is, they don't need to put up with it. An elephant weighs tons, and there's just no rope on earth could hold one that decided to break free.

Why don't they, then?

Because they've been conditioned to accept the rope since they were babies. When they're first tethered they're small and weak enough that straining against it does no good. They haven't got the strength to break it.

This is where the elephants' famous memories work against them. They never forget trying to break the rope and failing to do so. Because they couldn't break the rope when they were babies, they assume they just can't break it - ever.

That's why one single rope can hold a fully-grown elephant... because the elephant will never, ever, even think of breaking it.

What's even worse - most people do the same. Most people who are told as children that they aren't very good at something will believe that, and as grown-ups they never try again.

It might just be that they needed practice, or to be taught a better way of doing it than a child would know. Sometimes they might be shy, and need encouragement. Maybe it's just been that a parent was tired or irritable, stressed, or simply in a hurry, and hasn't had the patience to watch or listen properly.

Whatever the reason, words like "You're hopeless!" or "You'll never get it right!" or being laughed at by someone whose good opinion matters to you can all too easily turn into the equivalent of the rope around the elephant's ankle - a shackle that will never be recognized as the weak and powerless thing it really is, but which will hog-tie the person that it's been inflicted on... for life.

Fortunately, humans have the capacity to change their thinking. If you can learn to recognize the outdated limitations that have so far held you back from where you want to be, you can break them just as surely as an elephant could break a rope.

What would you really love to do that you're not doing now? Professionally or personally, a career, an interest or a hobby - it doesn't matter. What unfulfilled ambition have you buried in your mind because someone once sneered at you and told you that you never would achieve it?

It's important that you're absolutely honest with yourself here. Being discouraged or derided as a child is a painful and embarrassing experience, and many people cope with it by burying the whole incident, along with their ambition, in the deepest recess of their mind so that they don't ever have to feel that way again.

Well, you don't have to feel that way again. You don't need to relive the bad experience - just bring out that ambition, and take another look at it.

Why did you want it - and do you still?

If it's simply something that you've honestly outgrown, that's fine. You've taken the sting out of a bad memory, and you don't have to concern yourself with it any more.

Before you consign it to oblivion, though, ask yourself one more question about it.

In a perfect world, if you could be quite sure that going for it wouldn't get you hurt again, and that you really have the talent that would help you to achieve it, and you couldn't fail, and people would applaud your skill, not laugh at you for lack of it, would you still want to walk away from it?

Isn't there a tiny voice inside that's asking wistfully, "What if...?"

If so, remember that almost any skill can be learned by almost anyone who really wants to master it... and that your happiness comes not from what you get from life, but from the creative energy that you put into doing something that you love.

Remember, too, that people who (usually unintentionally) inflict that kind of inhibition on a child are often less than knowledgeable critics.

A parent who says you can't sing may not have the faintest clue about the kind of music that you want to sing.

The teacher who derided your computer skills because you forgot to use the spell-check on a homework assignment may not even be aware of what you can do with spreadsheets, or how you can design a story-board for potentially money-spinning games.

Siblings tease because they're siblings - that's just how they are.

Most people who mock others' dreams have never even tried to reach their own.

Don't let the rope that someone's disapproval tied around your ankle when you were a child prevent you, like the elephant, from going where you really want to go.

Visit Supreme-Success.com instead, and find out how you can achieve ambitions that you'd thought were lost to you forever.

Sphere Of Influence

Last night's TV movie was The Sphere, a sci-fi thriller starring Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone and Samuel L. Jackson. It's the story of a group of scientists who enter a strange underwater sphere and find that they've been given the power to create anything they think about.

The problem is that all they can think about is what they fear the most... so all the things they fear the most are exactly what they get.

Frustratingly, having got themselves into a situation where their lives are being threatened by all the fears of all of them, it doesn't occur to any of these scientific minds that if they can manifest the things they fear, they can surely learn to manifest the things they really want, as well... like getting back to safety, fast.

Even though Dustin Hoffman's character says at one point, "Imagine what you will, and you can have it," not a single one of them ever imagines anything at all they actually want, but only what they don't want.

In fact, they do this to such an extent that when they do eventually make it back to safety the only thing they want to do with this great power they've been given... is to forget that they've been given it.

Because they can manifest anything they want, they simply manifest the way they thought and felt before they'd gone into the sphere, and they immediately forget their power.

"What we've manifested," says Dustin Hoffman's character when he suggests the idea, "is the worst of us, not the best of us. We aren't ready for it."

Well, the simple answer to that is - get ready for it, because whether you want it or not, that power is something you've already got. You were born with it, and whether you choose to use it wisely or to forget it, you can not get rid of it.

The story may be fiction, but the idea behind it's solid fact.

The sphere is your own mind. It gives you the power to achieve the things you want - whatever you focus on is what you get.

If you choose to direct your attention to the things you really want from life, then sooner or later they will come to you - you'll find the ideas, the inspiration, the motivation and the energy to take you there.

If you prefer to keep your mind on what you don't want, or the things you fear, guess what? Your mind will cause you to act in ways that bring those undesired outcomes to you.

Either way, you'll get the things you focus on in great abundance... so it's pretty obvious which choice to make.

You can't opt out. If you don't deliberately direct your attention and your energy, then other people will direct them for you.

If you don't control your own mind, others will (the advertising industry is all the evidence you need of that!).

Make a conscious and deliberate decision, right here, right now, that in future you, and only you, determine what goes on in your own sphere of influence - your mind.

It'll make all the difference to what goes on in your whole life, too.

If you need some help to overcome any idea that you're not good enough, or any other kind of negative thinking that might get in the way of making sure your mind is under your direct control (and no-one else's!), visit Supreme-Success.com to find out how.

Saving The Cheerleader

So, the first series of Heroes has finished on UK TV. I don't want to spoil the ending for anyone who's not yet seen it (it's being shown again not once but twice before the week is out, so that could still be quite a lot of people), but there's a character from last week's episode that's worth a mention, even if you've never watched the show.

A little girl called Molly Walker has a very strange ability – she can track the whereabouts of any person in the world just by thinking about them.

To Mohinder Suresh, who wants to find one particular person before he can set off an explosion that would obliterate New York, that makes her the most important person on the planet – but to Noah Bennett, whose main concern is to prevent his adopted daughter (the cheerleader) from being found by those who would put her life at risk, little Molly is an enemy who's threatening his family's safety.

One person's hero is another's villain. A situation that scares one person might exhilarate another. A job that one employee thinks of as security might suffocate a colleague. An amount of money that might seem quite small to some sounds like a fortune to a lot of others.

It all depends on what the person or the situation represents to them.

It's just the same with what you want from life. It's no good someone telling you that a particular career, or to reach a certain level in it, is a great thing to go after.

If it's genuinely right for you, you won't need anyone to tell you so. If it isn't something that you really want, however far you get in it is not success - it's only an attempt to gain approval.

The problem with looking for approval is that no matter how much of it you get, it's never quite enough, because there's no amount of approval from anyone in the world except yourself that can reassure you that the path you're on is right – for you.

Every picture can be seen in more than one light. Every coin has more than just one side... or, as my father put it when someone asked him whether he's the sort of person who would describe a glass as being half-empty or half-full, replied, "That depends."

"Depends on what?" was the next question, and he smiled ironically.

"On whether I enjoy what's in it!"

Make sure your life is full of what you want, and what you most enjoy.

You can find out how by visiting Supreme-Success.com.

The Petrelli Factor

In case you're not familiar with Heroes (the first series ends in the UK with a double bill on Wednesday, so it's going to be one of those switch-the-phones-off-and-don't-even-think-of-answering-the-door occasions here), there's a character called Peter Petrelli who finds he automatically takes on the characteristics of those around him – and as most of those around him have special powers, he has some very strange experiences.

The close of this week's episode had him standing right next to a man who spontaneously produces radiation – and, sure enough, Peter's hands began to glow, and he became convinced that he's the person who's about to unleash a nuclear explosion on New York (yes, I know that if you've not been watching it that sounds ridiculous, but in the context of the drama it's believable. Honestly.).

Each episode comes equipped with its own special little behind-the-scenes interviews and snippets, and there was one earlier in the series that really appealed to me. Someone remarked that Peter Petrelli is one of the most important people in the show.

"He's a kind of Everyman," he said. "The audience can identify with him."

I think that's probably quite true... because whether most people realize it or not, everyone has a bit of the Petrelli character within them.

However much you might like the other characters, it's a bit hard to imagine how it feels to walk through solid walls, or melt metal objects when you look at them (though Micah's ability to mend malfunctioning appliances just by touching them could be very useful!), but we all share Peter Petrelli's experience every day.

The truth is that every one of us is unconsciously affected by the behavior and attitudes of those around us – and unless we're aware of what's happening and determined to prevent it, they can really drag us down.

If the person you're talking to is upbeat, with a positive attitude and a lot of energy, it's inspirational – but that's generally not the case. A lot of people seem to see the negative side of everything,.. and to do their best to make sure that's all you can see, as well.

There are even some who do it so regularly (and so effectively!) that your heart sinks at the very sight of them. Your inner mind reminds you of all the miserable things they've said before, and your good mood evaporates before they've said a word.

What can you do about it? Conventional wisdom says you should avoid them, but that's rarely practical. The reason why they've depressed you so many times already is usually because you can't avoid them – they're family members, work colleagues, or someone else you haven't really any choice but interact with.

The only thing that you can do is become mentally stronger than they are. Just as when two pebbles are thrown into a pond at the same time, the ripples from the one that's made the bigger splash will overcome the ripples from the other, you have to make your own positive attitude so strong that nothing can disturb it.

If you stay focused on the things that make you feel good, you can prevent yourself from being affected by anything the other person says.

Make no mistake about it, if someone who's habitually miserable doesn't see the tell-tale signs that they're depressing you, they're unlikely to cheer up and start laughing with you. They're more likely to try still harder to destroy your cheerful mood, or even make you lose your temper.

Don't let them succeed. Letting yourself be provoked is of no help to anyone. It just demotivates you, saps your energy, wrecks your concentration and makes entirely sure you won't achieve a thing all day. It isn't worth it.

The best antidote to the poison of other people's negativity is a powerful sense of purpose. If you can keep your own mind firmly on the things you're planning to achieve, it will be easier to endure the grumbling till you can reasonably get away from it.

If you find this difficult, the audio track you get as part of the Supreme Success package can help you raise your mind above the level of petty irritations and promote a feeling of serenity and calm that will re-energize and motivate you.

You can check it out here.

Squid... Who?

I've a confession to make - I've only just now made my first lens on Squidoo.

Till now I've kept away from social networking sites on principle, because I believed they were just that - social. It's not that I don't like being social, but there are more than enough distractions when you work online, and I'd heard all sorts of tales of how much time people can spend exploring them, so I thought I was being very virtuous in keeping well away.

Well, now I've found a perfect excuse. One of the very few people whose advice on Internet marketing I actually trust sent me an e-mail recently that gently told me off for having so far failed to recognize how good a social network site can be for getting your message out to the world.

(His name's Paul Myers, by the way, and if you have any interest whatsoever in marketing online his TalkBiz News e-zine is the place to be.)

So, I checked out networking... and found myself lens-building on Squidoo.

In case there's anyone else who hasn't tried this, it's great fun. A lens is just another name for a web page that's actually hosted on Squidoo itself. You start off with a template and add the modules that you want to use - and the words you want to say.

You can make as many lenses as there are subjects that you have an interest in, and you can link them all together so that in effect you have an extra website.

You can make a lens for pleasure or for profit, to raise awareness or to highlight a good cause. You can link it to your website. You can link it to your blog. You can link it up with Amazon, or show a video from YouTube. You can use it to get traffic - you can use it to make friends.

The folks at Squidoo even give you loads of advice on how to set it up to get the best results from it, and free tools to help you to promote it.

Well, my first lens is now up there with the others. It's about success, of course - what it really is, why it's so important to you, the process that you need to follow to achieve it, and the skills you need to make Supreme Success your own. If you'd like to take a look, it's at http://www.squidoo.com/supreme-success/ - hope you enjoy it.

Making Squidoo lenses is addictive. I'm looking forward very much to making more of them... and, of course, I can always tell myself I'm really working.

When Success Means Just Surviving

If you've never actually tried it, you might imagine that it simply isn't possible to pray, scream, push a car and panic at the same time, but I can assure you that it is. I'd better start at the beginning.

I was on an unfamiliar road this afternoon, and looking for a turn-off that I couldn't find. I pulled on to a patch of gravel beside the road and stopped to check the map. I didn't immediately notice a large farm vehicle coming down a track towards me - I'd stopped outside a farm gate, and I was blocking the driver's exit. I'd have to move the car.

I turned the key in the ignition. Nothing happened. I tried again. Still nothing. I was not enjoying this. Here I was, somewhere I didn't recognize, right in the path of a farm truck, and I couldn't start the car.

I took the handbrake off, and the car rolled backwards just enough to let the farm truck through. With hindsight, that should have made me realize I was on a slope that led back to the road. It didn't. All that I was thinking of was how to start the engine.

The breakdown truck would take a while to get there, and in the meantime someone else might want to get through the farm gateway. I'd have to push the car out of the way.

I got out and gave the car a hefty shove. It moved a little. I pushed again, and it ran gently backwards, clear of the farm gate. I stopped pushing... but the car kept right on moving. Too late, I realized that the slope was not about to let it stop.

Worse still, there was traffic coming – a car, an SUV and an enormous truck – and they were moving fast.

I reached through the window and grabbed the steering-wheel to guide the car towards the hedge. It didn't seem to make much difference. I couldn't reach the handbrake, so I did the only thing I could. I ran behind the car, and tried to stop it.

It was slowly forcing me out into the path of the oncoming vehicles, but even if I left the traffic to its fate and tried to jump clear, the car that was going to hit it would hit me, too. Likewise, there was no way I could reach the safety of the hedge. It was too far away - my own car was going to run me over if I tried. The only hope left was somehow to stop the car.

That's when I found myself, in panic, praying, pushing with all my not-very-substantial might, and screaming at the car to stop.

I believe it was the praying part that worked. I wasn't clear of the traffic by very much when the car at last stood still. I did likewise, and watched as the three oncoming vehicles swept by... so close to each other that if the first one had hit, the others would have ploughed straight into it. Shakily, I got back inside the car and sent up a very incoherent thanksgiving.

Without thinking, I turned the key in the ignition. The engine fired first time, and I gratefully headed homewards to a cup of hot, strong coffee.

Sometimes Supreme Success means just surviving.

Hello To The HelpDesk

Well, that's been fun. I switched the computer on this morning to discover almost 1,500 rogue e-mails - some of them spam, but most of them mail which had been supposedly returned to me... but which I'd never sent.

Someone's been forging the e-mail address. Again.

Even deleting the wretched things took a lot of time that I could have much more usefully and enjoyably have spent doing a lot of other things. Watching paint dry would have definitely qualified.

Anyway, this time I've decided that enough is very definitely enough. Supreme-Success.com now has a brand new HelpDesk, so the latest e-mail address doesn't actually need to appear at all - clicking on the e-mail graphic now takes you straight to the contact form, complete with ticket system and automatic acknowledgment service. You just fill in the details of your enquiry and your contact information, and then hit Submit.

I like the HelpDesk. The way it works behind the scenes makes e-mails easier to organize and deal with quickly, and I'm all for that - so even though it's taken me most of the day to put things right, I suppose the spammers have actually done me a good turn.

That doesn't mean I'm going to let them get their hands on yet another e-mail address if I can help it, though!

More Than Skin Care Deep

Skin care products seem to be particularly featured on the TV ads at present, and they mainly seem to be for just one type – repairing damage to the skin.

The ads refer to them as anti-aging, but a beauty consultant friend who gave up a well-paid job with a famous cosmetics firm because she felt she was misleading clients, tells me aging is not the only, or even necessarily the main, cause of sagging and unsightly skin. According to her, much of the damage has been caused by inappropriate skin care – in other words, by simply using skin care products that have been promoted for years as enhancing beauty.

Now, there's no way I'm against cosmetics – I refuse to step outside the door without my lipstick and mascara – but skin's a living organism that needs be treated with some care and understanding. It needs a chance to breathe.

Covering the face from first thing every morning till last thing every night with a foundation that's too heavy for it courts disaster. It doesn't take as long as you might think to wear the facial muscles down so that they start to sag. The muscles of your face are very delicate, and they're simply not designed to carry weight – at all.

The result can all too easily be sagging cheeks and deep, unsightly lines around your neck... within a short time.

What's more, a heavy, rich foundation clogs your skin's pores. It can't get any air. It can't get rid of natural impurities, either – so they stay right where they are till they start causing spots and blemishes.

What happens when your skin starts getting damaged? Some beauty editor or skin care expert tells you that you need... to cover it with even heavier cosmetics.

Oh, please. Cosmetics are intended to enhance your beauty, not destroy it!

If you don't deep-cleanse your skin of heavy make-up every night, you'll ruin it. You get deep pock-marks that my beauty consultant friend calls a cosmetic skin.

If you do deep-cleanse your skin each night, you're wrecking it. Your facial skin is fragile – it's not supposed to have its surface chemically stripped off every night.

Either way, how do most beauty editors and skin care experts suggest you deal with problems? Usually by lavishing a heavy moisturizer on it overnight, and piling on more make-up in the morning!

It doesn't have to be that way. There are lightweight cosmetics that will look a lot more natural and do a lot less damage. There are light moisturizers, cleansers, toners and astringents out there – though they aren't always famous names (and they're usually much cheaper, too!). You can find cleansers, toners and astringents, and all sorts of other gentle forms of skin care that don't actually attack your skin like paint stripper.

There are lots of exercises that can tone the muscles of your face and neck, and keep them strong and taut so that they won't sag – and a healthy lifestyle, including plenty of fruit and vegetables, exercise and fresh air, and some sound, refreshing sleep, will give your skin a glow and put a sparkle in your eyes that over-weighty, over-hyped, expensive skin care products can't achieve.

Radiant beauty is your birthright as a human being. Please, don't let the skin care "experts" rob you of it.

Diet Eating Any Food You Like!

A lot of people think that if you're on a diet eating food you like is strictly off the menu. That's not true – in fact, if you're on a diet eating foods you like is utterly essential if you're going to stick with it and not give up from sheer distaste or total boredom!

It's not what food you're eating that affects your weight, but how much energy (and yes, that does mean calories) that food contains. An excess of certain kinds of food, like fat, may well affect your health and fitness, so of course you need a healthy balance, but purely from the point of view of how much weight you might put on or lose it makes no difference.

100 calories of carrots will have exactly the same effect on your weight as 100 calories of chocolate. You'll get a whole lot bigger helping of the carrots for 100 calories than you will of chocolate (which, depending on whether carrots are a kind of food you like, you may feel is a good thing... or you may not not!), but it's the amount of calories you're eating that affects your weight, and not the kind of food you get them from.

That means that even on a diet eating any kind of food you want is fine... as long as you don't exceed the calorie allowance that your diet gives you.

You don't need to give up every kind of food you like – just eat it in sufficient moderation that it doesn't wreck your chances of success. Don't let it sabotage the number of the calories you're taking in, though – just adapt your menu for the day to make quite sure you keep to your allowance.

If you find that hard to stick to, you might like to check out Achieve Your Perfect Weight – And Stay There! at Supreme-Success.com for some support. Just because you're on a diet eating doesn't have to be a guilty pleasure – or a total misery!

Meeting The Terracotta Men

If you're in or anywhere near London in the next few weeks, I can thoroughly recommend a visit to the British Museum's exhibit of some of China's terracotta men.

In case you don't know the background to them (I must admit I didn't until recently), they're just a few of the estimated eight thousand lifesize figures buried with Ying Zheng, China's first emperor, in about 230 BC, apparently as servants to cater for his needs in the next world.

They weren't seen again until a chance discovery in 1974 unearthed a few of them, and so far about 1,000 have turned up.

A dozen of them are currently on show at the museum, and the best part of the whole thing is, you can get close to them... actually walk up to them and look them in the eye. It's a very strange experience, and really moving - and they're not at all the way I'd pictured them.

I'd imagined they'd be... well, just terracotta figures, with nothing much more special than their story to recommend them.

I can only say that I owe them, and the 1,000 people believed to have sculpted them, a massive apology.

They are incredible. They're absolutely lifelike, and have real personality. Apparently when they were originally sculpted they were painted, too, with proper flesh-tones for their hands and faces, and the appropriate colors for their clothes. That must have been some sight to behold!

It had simply not occurred to me that people were producing works of art of that standard over 2,000 years ago - the word "impressive" doesn't even begin to do them justice.

Apparently they were modelled on real people - the sculptors are believed to have used their fellow-workers as their inspiration - and that's what really made me think.

The terracotta men are all unique individuals, different in height and build and facial expression, and not to be mistaken for any of their colleagues. Some look happy - some look fierce. Some carry various implements apparently designed to show what they were skilled in - as well as warriors, there are acrobats, musicians, and even a few bureaucrats, too!

That's what really got me thinking. You see, every human being is just as individual - in looks, in personality, in temperament and in their talents - not just the amount of talent someone has, but in the precise combination of abilities, ambitions, skills and interests they possess. No-one else has now, has had or is going to have, the same.

That means, if you don't use the skills you have, there's no-one else to do it for you. No-one else can write the books or poems, songs or business plans that you might. No-one else can solve the problems you can, in the ways that you can solve them. No-one else can be the partner, parent, friend or colleague you can be... and no-one else can have exactly the same measure of success in what you want to do as you can.

The sculptors of the terracotta men created work that's lasted for 2,000 years, and still has power to delight and to inspire. What can you create... and why not start right now?

Beware The Gridlocked Video...

Yes, I know this story makes me look an idiot, but if you're looking for success in online marketing, the situation that gives rise to it is one you really need to be aware of... and if you're not, you can feel free to have a laugh at my expense.

I recently came across a site with lots of videos on something that I'm keenly interested in, and I couldn't wait to watch them. Each one was supposed to last about 4 minutes, so they couldn't take that long to load up... could they?

Well, not if you're in the same country as the site, perhaps. The trouble is, that site and myself were on different sides of the Atlantic.

I clicked on the first track, and it buffered for several minutes - then it flickered into life and its producer said, "Hi! My name is..."

The video then froze, and buffered for several more minutes before the guy in the picture jerkily moved his hands for a split second and gave me half his name... and then it froze again. Cue more buffering.

This was not what I'd call streaming video – it was more like gridlock.

Now, at this point I would usually have given up and left the site, but I really wanted to watch those videos, so I hung on.

I kid you not, it took an hour and a half before the buffering got near the end – of a video which, remember, was supposed to take a mere 4 minutes to play through.

It was at this point that I made my big mistake. Once the buffering had finished, I decided, I'd be able to watch the whole thing properly – and I might as well do it with a cup of coffee in my hand.

Wrong move. In the time it took to switch the kettle on, the buffering had finally completed... and gone back to zero. Hopefully, I clicked on Play, and the buffering began again. Right from the start.

Now, this ought to be a one-off horror story... but it isn't. There are lots of sites that offer video and other kinds of streaming media that only work the way they should if you're quite near to them, or else you're using broadband (I don't, because I reckon that the best way to ensure that all the content on Supreme-Success.com is easily accessible to all site visitors is to test it on a dial-up connection).

If you want to use some video without antagonizing all your visitors who can't get at it easily, it's a good idea to offer an alternative.

1. If possible, present it in a format that can be downloaded. A download manager that can collect it overnight, or resume an interrupted download when it's more convenient, can take the sting out of the waiting; or

2. It that's not feasible, offer them a transcript. Write down everything you're saying on the video, and let them just download it as an e-book.

If you're working from a script, that should take very little effort – if not, it's worth the extra work to play it through and just transcribe your words.

(Do get rid of those distracting "um"s and "er"s, though – they creep into most videos at some point, and your visitors will probably take clarity a lot more seriously than exact fidelity to the recorded version!)

Your visitors will love you for it – it's a quick and easy way to show you care about them.

If you don't, you're going to lose a lot of hard-earned traffic, because a gridlocked video has just the same effect as gridlocked vehicles – exasperated visitors avoid the place in future.

The Rôle That Killed The TV Star

A few days ago I watched a TV documentary about a British actor called Richard Beckinsale. The comedy shows he starred in are still shown often on TV (there was one on just this weekend), so I'm quite familiar with his work, though I was unaware that he was branching out into films and was regarded as a seriously up-and-coming talent... till one morning he was found dead in bed, after suffering a massive heart attack. He was 31.

The shows I've seen him in (Rising Damp and Porridge) give the impression of a pleasant, laid-back kind of guy – the very last person you'd expect would ever have a heart attack. Some of his friends were interviewed, and said that's very much the way he really was.

His wife, though, told another story altogether. She admitted that his confident, relaxed demeanor was an act – the hardest rôle he'd ever hard to play, and one that ultimately killed him.

The truth was that his nerves were strained so badly that he couldn't bear to stay in the house alone, and he suffered such serious panic attacks that he couldn't sleep without the light on, and often stayed up all night because he didn't feel safe enough to let himself fall asleep before full daylight.

In other words, he suffered from a stress level so intense and painful that it killed him.

Tragic though it is (his two young daughters had barely even got to know him), the story has two lessons that anyone who's stressed out needs to learn.

1. Many people will do, or suffer, absolutely anything to keep their friends and colleagues from knowing just how stressed they are.

Often, they're afraid that they'll be laughed at, or passed over for promotion – and both those things do sometimes happen; and

2. Stress that isn't dealt with can be lethal.

That's because stress causes the body to produce chemicals, like adrenalin, that are meant to deal with an immediate, short-term emergency. If you're stressed, then you're producing these chemicals all the time... and you aren't getting rid of them.

That means you're literally poisoning yourself.

Fortunately, much more's now known about stress and how to deal with it. Although if you have any kind of health anxieties it's always wise to talk things over with your doctor, you can check out an easy way to free your life from stress at the Supreme Success website – and if, like Richard Beckinsale, you suffer from panic attacks, there's a book available at the Resources area of the site.

Stress can make your life, and the lives of everyone you love, a misery. Isn't it worth a mouse-click to get rid of it... for ever?

The Secret Ingredient

I've just watched England beat France 14-9 to reach the Rugby World Cup Final.

I don't know that much about rugby (except, of course, that Ireland's already out of the competition), but it didn't take an expert to recognize the transformation in the English play and attitude from the demoralized bunch of guys who went down so spectacularly 36-0 to South Africa a few weeks back.

One of the TV pundits was asked what he thought had caused the vast improvement.

"Their coach, Brian Ashton," he replied. "He's filled them all with self-belief."

If that one simple difference, an increase in their self-belief, was all it took to turn a disorganized group of players who were being ripped to pieces in the press for their performance, into a proud, deserving team of World Cup finalists, in just four weeks, what can a real and lasting increase in your self-belief achieve for you?

You can find out at Supreme-Success.com/Self-Belief.

The Curse Of The Flightle Bee

Back in the days when presenters for the UK's national broadcaster, the BBC, had to be very, very careful about the language that they used on air, I'm told that the presenter of a music show was worried about his introduction to a particular piece – The Flight of the Bumble Bee, by Russian composer Rimsky-Korsakov.

The title was easy enough, of course, but he couldn't get his tongue round the composer's name. Hard as he practiced, he was convinced that he was going to make a mess of it, and the night before the show he hardly slept.

At last the dreaded moment came, and the presenter took a deep breath and announced, “The next piece is by that popular composer, Rimsky-Korsakov...”

”YES!” he thought triumphantly. “I've done it – I've done it! Nothing can go wrong now.”

Then he gave the title as... “The Bum of the Flightle Bee.”

Now, the word “bum” doesn't mean in Britain what it means in the US. It means the equivalent of “a-s” - the part of your anatomy you sit upon.

It's actually considered a very mild word now, but apparently at that time it was high up on the list of things you couldn't say on air. The mistake the presenter was so scared of making, a simple mispronunciation of a name in a language he was unfamiliar with, would actually have got him into far less trouble with his bosses than the one he did make.

The point of the story is that what you focus on is what you get.

If you keep thinking hard enough, for long enough, that you're going to get something horribly wrong, the intensity of your feelings about it will convince your inner mind that that's the very thing you want to happen... and it will find a way it can achieve it for you.

No matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try, how talented you are, what great ideas you have, or how much you would love to have Supreme Success... if what you're mainly feeling is a fear of failure, then that's exactly what you're going to get – your inner mind will show you how to sabotage your progress so that it can help you make those pictures in your head come true.

To be successful, see yourself as utterly successful. Feel all the excitement and anticipation of it. Hold that picture as strongly as you can, and thoroughly enjoy it. The more intense your feelings are, the faster it'll happen.

You have to do the work as well, of course – but that feeling will inspire you to do it better, and more easily.

What you focus on is what you get... so make sure you're always focused on success.

Welcome To Supreme Success!

Hi, and welcome to the Supreme Success blog.

Like the Supreme Success site, it's going to be about how you can achieve the things in life that mean the most to you - and, of course, the great thing about a blog is that it's perfect to add all sorts of little tips and tricks without making lots of changes on the site itself.

First of all, heartfelt apologies to anyone who's read any of my previously-published articles and followed the link to access-your-peak-performance-zone.com, then tried to buy one of the subliminal audio tracks, only to find the purchase links disabled.

The reason was that I was moving them to a new server and launching a new and much more comprehensive site (and with a much more user-friendly name!), and it's taken a whole lot longer than I thought it would.

However, the new site's up and running now, with several more personal empowerment audio tracks and a new book on offer... and a free book for everyone who visits.

No strings... no information to supply... no being forced to join a mailing list (though, of course, you're very welcome to sign up for the e-zine if you'd like to!)... nothing to do except download it - and make use of it.

It's easy to download a free book, put it on your hard drive, and forget about it.

Please, don't do that with this one.

You see, one very big the reason why so many people don't achieve the things they want to have or be is that the people around them and the situations that they're in are often so depressing and so disempowering.

This book's designed to be an antidote to that. It has an encouraging quotation for each day of the year (and, yes - including Leap Year), from some of the most famous people, past and present, in the world.

From John Fitzgerald Kennedy to Oprah Winfrey, from Thomas Edison to Bono, there's a dazzling array of famous names waiting to share their wit and wisdom with you - so, please...

Download it to your desktop, where you can see it every time that you sit down at your computer, and open it for just a few moments once a day.

Every day - and preferably before you start your work.

That gives you a burst of energy and enthusiasm that will get you off to a flying start, and make a real impact on everything you want to do.

To collect your copy right now, just head over to Your Daily Inspiration, and...

Enjoy!